*sigh*...

It's been quite weird these few days... i havent been on the net, havent touched my computer... literally just relaxing and chilling at home.

i think a lot of things will die down and pass over as time passes, but then again, everything that happens in our lives will always leave seeds and trails behind. i know that there are things that i am willing to just let them pass over because i really have gotten over. but one thing i have realised is that the longer you leave something dragging, the deeper the trail and the deeper the roots will be planted in your mind. that, to me, is something i reckon is really dangerous because they are the things that make us worry and annoyed and confused in life.

there's one thing that basically have been dragging with me for the past YEARS of my life. i can't say there was no beginning but then i cant say nothing has happened in between. there cant be an official end because there wasnt an official beginning. things just happened over the years, things developed, things died down... now what???

someone told me to chase after the things i want in life but then, i dont even know if i want to or not... things just dont come when i ask for them to come. i guess that's a good thing. the message i am getting these days from the things that have happened to those around me, have shown me that there are more important things in life than what i used to chase after.

*sigh* the biggest hurdle with this is that there was literally no communication at all between both parties. and now, both parties are making decisions based on what other people have said. i find that really sad and the sadest thing is that i dont know how to break the ice... like for once im stuck for words. i guess this is really one thing where my heart has been for the past X amount of years. it's easy to break the ice and let go of something that has only been around for a short period of time and it's a lot easier if both parties still talk and maintain a mutual relationship as friends. but when both parties are avoiding the talk about things. *sigh*...

it's like there are things that i have packed away into a box inside my heart but then there are things that are still lit and every now and then, i'll notice the light's still burning inside... i cant just leave it, but then what else can i do???

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anyways, other than that, life's ok... summer school sucks... just scraped a Cr. for my *mid-sem*. i was totally lost today when the lecturer was talking about insurance... TOTALLY LOST... think i need consultation AGAIN...

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had lunch with 阿德 and we started to talk about random things. it's really nice to know that people can have lunch and be friends with you without other motives. i feel so much more secure.

the friends i have met recently are starting to become really cool friends. we've been shopping and talking about random things, which really helps when loneliness sets in...

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anyways man, enough for today. better reply my msn msgs now... hahaha

JYKW